My Ambivalent Mind and Cakebread Chardonnay

Current Mood: I wake up to uncertainty, confusion, my heart a little in the wrong place, vacancy of comfort, hungry as hell, and making the biggest attempt to go into the hustle of the wine world without tears streaming down my face. Some self help homies would tell me that this is where I should live; figure out how to be comfortable in the uncomfortable. Is this where enlightenment begins? Is this where I begin to refocus life and become the person I always dreamed I could be…

Be a friend and let’s just talk real here – is the expectation of newness all rainbows and butterflies? What ever happened to being honest with the fact that you are miserable? Now, miserable has ebbs and flows. I’ve never been to a point, with business, where I lay my head down and wail, or feel I will throw my computer against the wall. It’s been close, but I’ve learned how to alter a mental state to a point where the flip of my mood is a thing of wonderment. Yes, I’m hiding behind a dirty screen of resentment, sadness, “why can’t you like me” feels, and other really stupid ideas we have about ourselves. It’s all just happening now, and with the speed of a freight train.

Hopelessness leads to wines of contentment. We want to feel liberated, we want to feel satisfied, we want all the pleasure a convenient choice can give us. This doesn’t mean to use wine as a vehicle to alter your mind – that is an unhealthy thought pattern, and just stop that. I’m talking about the luxury and awareness, through our senses, that we can be just “ok” for a moment in time. Is that an organic thing for you? Oh honey, that takes work for me…

I chose Cakebread Chardoanny, at a moment in time, that I needed to stop my mind, and know that my choice would generate the “stunt my brain waves” reaction I wanted. To dig deeper….

• Chardonnay is so “ordinary” – I’ll give you that. It’s usually a grape, besides Pinot Grigio, that Ladies That Lunch shovel into their gullets by the bottle. Ok then why; I love the “idea” of citrus and melon flavors hitting my nose before I take a sip. When done well, like this wine was, there is structure, subtle tones of minerality and waves of changing fruit flavors. Chardonnay can develop in the glass, in the bottle, during your experience. It can help evolve your pressured state into that of lightness and affinity.

• Napa Valley, really? – I’ve been running, no speeding, away from Napa wines; I just know there is more to life than Napa. However, I can’t deny how Carneros can deliver. Foggy mornings, cool afternoons (thank you San Pablo Bay) – this is text book chardonnay territory. That kind of climate will deliver acidity, an elegance, full fruit bowl goodness, and incredible balance.

• What, Why, and Why – Honestly, it was the most trusted bottle on the wine list that was in front of me. My choice had nothing to do with the weather; it was cold as hell outside. I was at a cozy bar, sitting in the nook (you all know what I’m talking about – that place in the bar where you can just cuddle up to), and wanted a weighted wine without feeling weighty. Red would have been “too much”, Sauvignon Blanc would have been reprehensible; this chardonnay, with its notes of spiced apple and vanilla complexity, ended a very lovely evening. If I had a bite in front of me, I would choose a oily piece of grilled salmon; perfect balance of food to wine ratio, oaky flavors combining with toasty grill smoke, with both food and wine finishing with a subtle tone of richness in texture.